Things to Believe In

Belief is a great thing. And like all great things, it holds the potential for great consequences, for even when talking in the abstract, Stan was right when he bastardized various important historical figures and resources in saying "With great power there must come-- great responsibility". As such, Belief can take responsibility for some of the greatest things in human history, good and bad.

That being said, Belief can also be nothing more than a scapegoat at times.

In this entry, belief is neither. It is simply, something to toy with. For in this entry, I feel the need to expound upon ten of my closest and dearest held beliefs. Prepare yourselves for a most exciting experience in absurdian philosophy- one of my closest and dearest friends.



Belief 1: One should always hold belief to a completely impossible standard. In doing so, never will one find that a belief has slipped under the radar unnoticed. For, it would be quite difficult to miss that one suddenly holds the belief that one's reality is nothing more than a drop of water on a monstrously large plant in another reality's only surviving greenhouse.

Belief 2: Resolutions, of any sort, should always be taken seriously. That is, as long as those resolutions are never serious.

Belief 3: The main goal of life should always be to learn anything unknown in the most complete manner possible. If one should find that the intelligent thoughts of the world have become old hat, then one should begin going about learning all of the unintelligent thoughts as well. Never underestimate the importance of learning the layout of the average Emergency Room.

Belief 4: One should never choose a favorite sporting team on anything resembling merit. Instead, the choice should be made do to some intangible connection to said team that has absolutely nothing to do with sport.

Belief 5: A book should never be read in the same place twice. This should be upheld physically, mentally, and emotionally. If, in holding to this belief, one has has found that they have gone through life without ever rereading a piece of literature, one has failed at life.

Belief 6: All things are made better by being orange.

Belief 7: One should always be prejudiced in some manner. There will never be a challenge as seemingly insurmountable and obviously enlightening as overcoming one's own prejudice.

Belief 8: One should never strive to overcome all mortal sin. These sins lead yet to greater understanding of one's self and world. Lust may lead to love. Sloth may lead to a greater understanding of one's self expectations and ability to uphold them. Greed and Gluttony may lead to wealth- of price, mind, and body- that, when used appropriately, may allow one to look beyond the trials and tribulations of one's own life and see clearer the world around them. Envy and Wrath may lead to ambition. And Pride, more than all others, should be sustained through all life. For it is Pride that will allow man to taste these lesser sins with out indulging. It is the lack of Pride that should be a sin, for without Pride, all would-be virtues turn to ash.

Belief 9: The equal and opposite reaction to war is not peace but creation. Just as the equal and opposite reaction to up is not status but down. A fluid cause must have a fluid reaction, not a static one.

Belief 10: One should never loose sight of the fact that Belief is merely a forceful reaction to uncertainty.

And a newly added Belief as a bonus: One should never write a Twenty-First Century Blog after having read three Nineteenth Century Novels in a row.
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