To my dearest readers...

All two of you,

I shall be leaving for a short overnight to Kentucky in a few minutes and, as Francine keeps badgering me to update this thing more often, I felt I ought to leave a quick note to you here. This shall be a rather short entry, as I only have a few moments and a few things to say, so pay attention, for if you blink you shall miss all the good parts. All, please disregard the absurd phrasing of this entry- it is well before time that any reasonable person would be awake and I have only managed a few hours of sleep last night.

First, I am very excited about this little excursion. I am going to see three of my favorite bands tonight and severals friends that I do not get to see often- of course, I do get to see them more often than I get to see either of you, but that is besides the point. I would like to point out that I am apparently incapable of holding a normal conversation with the leading man of one of these bands without interjecting random embarrassing facts and stories about myself, the headliner of the second band has a strange fascination with making certain that I enjoy his presence which I find dreadfully annoying, and one of the two members of the third band and I have shared an interesting history consisting mostly of lewd acts in bathrooms. It should be interesting.

Second, I miss you. Getting to go on a short road trip such as the one I am about to embark on serves to remind me that I cannot take a road trip to see you, which makes me terribly sad. I love my friends here, I do, but I have to admit that I find their company a bit lacking when compared to those who know me best, such as yourselves. Perhaps now would be a good time to promise that, come hell or high water- a phrase I never quite understood the appeal of until recently- I will see the both of you before the end of this year. However, it still saddens me to think that said visit may have to wait until just before the end of the year.

Third, the levels of testosterone and idiocy in this house are starting to drive me a bit batty- so much so that I recently spent a solid three days visiting Virginia, dealing with a bratty four year old who stutters, trying to appease a new born who has an inexplicable habit of screaming every time you even think about putting her down, and listening to the ramblings of a woman who's entire functioning brain mass could quite possibly fit in the space of my right pinky nail. The most common thoughts running through my head for the duration were, of course, "I may have to kill this child." and "I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW WRONG YOU ARE!" Nevertheless, it was an almost nice break from the constant running commentary I have been experiencing about the connection between men, hormones, and the killing of braincells one could not afford to loose.

Well, I have now updated you on everything that has been going on in my life, and my ride should be here any moment, so I really should go. I shall post again when I return- sometime tomorrow night or Wednesday afternoon when I wake up- to tell you all about my short trip, I promise. Also, as I recently appealed to Francine about my lack of interesting topics, I shall be leaving a post about doorknobs in the very near future as well. I believe she has seriously underestimated my ability to wax poetical- or perhaps its more waxing philosophical in my case- on any given topic. I strongly suggest that if you wish to see more consistent updates to this blog that you leave a comment on each entry I post with a suggested topic. I am incapable of ignoring a request to write about something, but I have been experiencing a serious lack of life recently and cannot come up with anything even remotely interesting to write about myself.

Until next time, my friends, stay at least marginally sane.
Sincerely,
Me

Post Script: This entry ended up much longer than I thought it would be when I first set out. Again, I apologize for the wording, but I must make my boring life at least seem interesting if I am to suffer writing about it for you.
~Me