I went to bed at around 11:30pm tonight, and I was so very very tired and I was going to SLEEP, and it was going to be perfection because, yeah, sleep has been a short visitor in the house of Swanky as of late. I was ready to welcome him home with open arms, two blankets and nice, clean, fresh sheets, a fluffy pillow and a whole twelve hours to enjoy his company. It was going to be wonderful when I woke up in the morning I was actually NOT GOING TO BE TIRED ANYMORE.
At midnight, my phone rang just as I was really starting to fall asleep. It was Cassie, and I felt like I really should answer. There are only a few people I would have taken the effort for, people that I know either wouldn't call that late unless it was an emergency or have been having a lot of issues recently. Cassie is one of those people. So I answered, and lit a smoke, and talked to Cassie for TWO HOURS, and now, now I can't sleep.
I tried, I did. I really, really did, because I'm so tired and I want to be able to sleep at night time and see the sun again and did I mention how tired I am? But, that's the problem: I'm too tired to sleep. I laid in bed for two hours, trying every trick I know to make myself fall asleep, but every time I close my eyes the world starts to spin or pulse or tilt from side to side and I have to open them again of I'll be ill.
And I was so looking forward to a day. You know, where there's sun and blue sky and, hell, at this point I's take torrential down pours if I could just say that I managed to see what my new porch looks like before dark. And it was going to be such a nice day tomorrow. Cool and crisp but still warm enough to mull about outside with little more than a sweatshirt, no rain, not even clouds really, and I was going to fucking enjoy it. Maybe read a book on my new porch, convince my father to let me take 10 bucks to Bread Co for some food that isn't fried and bland and, be still my beating heart, I could eat at lunchtime. See what my niffty new arm warms look like in the sunlight, visit with the friendly cat from somewhere in the neighborhood again. Anything, ANYTHING to get me out of this god forsaken apartment and out and about in the land of the living- while the living are in fact awake and... living...
Damn. It. All.
Monday, March 31, 2008
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1 comment:
you could try unisom, which is what i did. I just took it at like 8 and in about an hour i was ready to sleep, and you sleep like 11 hours. and just 1 time helps you get back into a regular sleep pattern. I wasn't sure it would work or that i would become addicted, but it did, and i'm not, so you could try it. it is in the same section as advil pm.
--f
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